Friday, November 28, 2008

"Candy" by Randa

I am not your average, everyday
Poptart candy-girl
with strawberry filling pouring from my lips
and milk jugs switchin' at my hips.

I am not your expectation
of the "video girl";
that Top 40's and Hot 5o's chick
sick wit' dat "Laffy Taffy"
as cotton candy sound waves seep through her speakers,
jump-start her nervous system
and leave sweetened cavities
in the molars of her intelligence.

No, I am not the video girl
you visually ingest on a daily basis...
'Cuz the basis of my existence does not rely
on your ignorance of my intelligence...

But I bet you wish it did...

I am not a Now & Later
who'd rather have you inside me Now
rather than Later.
I am not your lollipop,
a stick with sugar for brains.
No, I am not your occasional treat...

But, I bet you wish I was...

You want a Bitch,
a female canine on all fours
moppin' floors
and servin' the same one-course meal
your Momma served your good-for-nothin'
dead-beat Daddy.

You want a toy, a play-thing;
one who bends to your every will,
who takes you at face value,
who values the words you speak,
and the air you breathe
over that of her own.

But I am not here to serve you;
not here as your vessel of safety...

But I bet you wish I was...
don't you...

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Passion Party


I am becoming a Passion Party consultant!! Yup, that's right...sellin' "bath products" for women :)

I'll be using this as an avenue for my activism. I want to teach women about their bodies and how AMAZING the female anatomy is...

Soooo...I'll be having my "kit-raising" party (the proceeds go toward me getting my demo kit) at my place on December 13th @ 7pm. After this party, I'll be able to book my own! YAAAYY!!

So to any women who are interested, leave a comment letting me know if you'd either like to come to my party or book me as a consultant at your own party. I am SO excited to educate while talking sex...that's what life's all about to me!

P.S. My friend Elysia has started a fabulous blog called The New Sex Dictionary all about women and sexuality. So far, she's posted a great way to "pleasure yourself" in the's great :)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

This is just fun...Check it out!

I found this on my friend Andrea's blog:

You Are 12% Capitalist, 88% Socialist

You see a lot of injustice in the world, and you'd like to see it fixed.

As far as you're concerned, all the wrong people have the power.

You're strongly in favor of the redistribution of wealth - and more protection for the average person.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Fall 2008

This has been the most difficult term of my life...Never before have I learned so many new philosophies that ultimately affect my core being.

Sex and womanhood and race and childhood and poverty and gender....the list goes on! I've had to study all of these from every feminist angle, and I must say, I'm tired.

I go home at nite trying to debunk from the videos and lectures on child prostitution, on "ethnic" womanhood in America, on the myth of erotic sex, and the construction of women....wouldn't you be tired too? I need some kinda mental break or something...maybe I'll take a class on pottery next term lol

All of these classes have made me question if I
really want to spend my life completely immersed in these kinds of issues...and I question this for my own sanity...Can I do this for the rest of my life? Am I just torturing myself? It's during times like these when I must remember the question: If I don't live for the cause, who will?

Sometimes, I feel like I couldn't stop working for change even if I tried...I'm hard-wired ( I hope I said that right lol)

I found this really speaks to me :)

No woman is required to build the world by destroying herself. ~Rabbi Sofer

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Discouraging Epiphany

Sometimes, I hate my intelligence…sometimes I wish I knew nothing about what I know now…that I was just as ignorant as the next person. I hate that every time I watch a music video or a T.V. show, my brain jumps into overdrive and analyzes the entire thing through feminist eyes. I can’t even listen to my family speak without hearing the sexism, racism, and homophobia in their speech. I HATE THIS! Sometimes, I wish I could go back to my freshman year, before I knew anything about feminism, and live my life in ignorance and bias. It seems so much easier. I feel like such an outsider…I cannot relate to the jokes or the commonality shared between friends and acquaintances. I can no longer relate to the “You’re a pussy” comments because to me, they are highly offensive to not only men, but women as well. I am no longer invited to social gatherings because I am the "outspoken and oversensitive one who tries to make everyone feel bad". I have lost friends over feminism, I have lost familial respect over feminism, I have lost a reputation over feminism...and yet, I still feel lost. My knowledge overpowers me in such a way that I feel immobilized. I can no longer explain the injustices of women or Black individuals, because Ignorance turns a closed ear and labels me as “oversensitive”, or as "looking for problems". How do I live in a world where I am objectified, ostracized, undermined, and dehumanized all at the same time? It is no wonder that I feel alone and without friends…who wants to be friends with a social outcast? I must say that I am not generally seen as a social outcast by the women with whom I share these feelings, but by the people I believed were friends; by those who I’d hoped would understand where I’m coming from. Tonight, Ignorance drove me out of the public sphere and back into my own place of comfort. I physically removed myself from an environment where I felt ostracized and unheard. My voice was not valued; nor was my experience as a marginalized person validated.
The very people I’d believed were my allies claimed that I was overreacting…as if they knew what it was like to be me…a Black Woman living in a White supremacist male society. To many, this fact is ignored and candy-coated as “normalcy”, but for me, it is the defining line between heaven and hell. I have experienced hell on earth in America, just as I have experienced heaven. In fact, most people have experienced both. But it is to what extent that matters. I MUST remember every day that I am a Black woman, while my peers believe they are simply human (aka White males). It is interesting to me that I often ignore the fact that I am Black in hopes of highlighting my humanness. But, as I have been reminded tonight, I cannot afford to ignore my Blackness. Because ignorance is consequence…and tonight, I experienced the consequences of selectively ignoring my race for so long with certain people. People try to see me as “one of them” or “just like us”…but I’m not just like White people…in fact, I’ve experienced things they’ll NEVER experience and they’ll experience things I’ll NEVER experience. I know this to be true, but tonight, this was not validated for me. So I removed myself in hopes of refraining from causing further damage to the now broken relationships.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Activism Project

Please watch this video and comment! This is an activism project for my Women & Sexuality class and I need to evaluate its effectiveness. Thank you!

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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Women Against Rape

I'd like to post the link to a very resourceful website called WAR (Women Against Rape) that I found tonight...It's more specifically Black Women Against Rape and it's a site that advocates for rape victims all over the world. Please visit this site and let me know what ya think!


Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Obama's Big nite-Nv. 4, 2008

Thank you America :)

Black women and our bodies

So, I woke up this morning and read one of my readings for my Women and Sexuality class. This particular reading was entitled "Continued Devaluation of Black Womanhood" by bell hooks, my favorite feminist writer. In the article, hooks (yes, her name is always in little case letters) discusses the history behind the objectification of Black women, originating in the slave South. She also addresses the power dynamics between White men and Black women. This is why I am writing this entry.

I was deeply disturbed, not because I disagree with her in any way, but because I, a Black woman, am in a relationship with a White man. According to hooks, relationships like mine were historically prohibited in that they threatened white dominance. Any legitimate relationship between these two parties threatened the belief that Black women weren't human and, therefore, incapable of being loved and respected as such.

Now, this is all fine and dandy as history, but as I continued reading, I began to internalize the information and view it on a personal level.

After finishing the hooks reading, I immediately moved on to read another by Patricia Hill Collins, also an amazing feminist writer (btw, these women are both Black). This article is called "Black Women and the Sex/Gender Hierarchy". Collins addresses much of what hooks does, except she talks about the infamous Sarah Bartmann.

For anyone who doesn't know, Sarah Bartmann was an African woman who was put on display for White people at parties because of her rare body shape. She had an enormously large bottom and was often placed as a live display,
fully naked. Once she died, her body was (get this) dissected and her genitals and buttock were placed on display in a Paris museum!!!!!!!!!!!!! This in itself is the most disturbing piece of information I've learned in a very long time. I hope for France's sake that that woman's body parts are not still on display for every fucking Tom, Dick, and Harry to see because if so, So Help Me God, I will find a way to make it to Paris and protest that shit if it's the last thing I do with my life!

*taking a deep breath and trying to calm down* Ok........So, as a result of Sarah Bartmann's situation (more popularly known as the Hottentot Venus), Black women were expected to all have the same body features.
This is where the infamous "Black Booty" comes from!!

Black culture has internalized this idea that Black women are suppose to be voluptuous, full-bodied, big bootied, big-hipped women! And no one ever stops to think "Well, where the hell did we get THAT shit from?"

Well, people, it all came from the fucked up objectification of our ancestors! And I for one am through participating in their continual objectification. Did you know that even after slavery was over, Black women became the most sought after victims of rape? Wanna know why???
Because we had
no worth in the eyes of the White community. This, hooks explains, is why the White man-Black woman relationship is so rare. It got so bad back then that Black parents started warning their Black daughters not to ever be alone on the streets or even in the presence of a White man.

Now, how many of us knew THAT lil bit of history?! Not many, I bet. That's because this is the kind of shit you only get to read about maybe once in your life. This never gets taught in schools. And it's f-ed up because the Black community needs to know WHY our society devalues Black women, or even recognize that it does. I mean, I've gone through my entire life yearning for the big Booty because as a Black woman, that's what I thought I was suppose to have. Well, fuck that now...

Ok, so how many music videos have we all watched or pictures we've seen where Black women's asses WEREN'T the main attraction??? yeah, don't worry....I'll wait why you try to answer me that one ............................................................NONE, right?? RIGHT! It seems that every Black woman on any music video MUST have the "Black Booty" to be sexy. And why? Because we have internalized our own oppression. We forget the sexism that runs rampant in our own culture as a DIRECT result of the racism we face.

Now, I would like to post a picture of Sarah Bartmann, not in disrespect to her, but to raise awareness of the issue which subtly suffocates Black womanhood. I ask that you view this sketch with the utmost respect and that you go away from it a little more educated about the history of Black women than you had before you read this post...

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

President Barack Obama

What a day! The sun is shining, birds are chirping, my dog is sleeping, and....what's this?...............MY PRESIDENT IS BLACK!!!!

I can honestly say that back in high school, I actually said "America won't ever let a Black man run the f-ing way!"...But here we are America, standing strong and proud under Barack Obama (can u believe his name is gettin the red line on here? they need to update this things vocab,lol)

*sigh*.....It was empowering to see the newscasters
themselves in tears over his electoral victory! I mean, Oprah was out there cryin (well that's nuthin new) and Black and White people alike were in utter tears of joy over the miracle of a Black president. I AM SO STOKED!!!

I haven't even processed all of this yet, so you'll be hearing alot more about it from me as the weeks go by...but for now, I will leave you with this... :)

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Wanda Skyes on Proposition 8

Hello friends!
I think this video provides an exemplary viewpoint on Proposition its hella funny! This is Wanda Sykes on the Ellen show. Enjoy!